And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
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Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
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I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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