So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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