Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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