Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize