I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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