youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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