This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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