Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize