Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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