if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize