Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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