You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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