So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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