Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
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time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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