i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
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I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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