I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
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As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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