My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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