My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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