You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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