i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize