The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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