I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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