Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize