If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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