I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
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i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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