'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize