definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize