I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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