hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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