so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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