If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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