Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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