I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize