great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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