Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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