How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize