Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize