"it" just moved
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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