On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize