No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
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I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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