I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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