glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Someone shit on the floor
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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