i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize