I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
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And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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