You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize