Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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