the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you win again, gameday.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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