Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize