so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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