Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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